An Undetermined Number of Rules/Proverbs/Comments for my Daughter-Who-May-or-May-Not-One-Day-(Oh, How I Hope She Will)-Exist

Based on the few lessons I’ve already learned in my short time on earth. I’m just copying what other blogs (such as THIS and THIS) have already done so well.

  1. If you start shaving your legs before I buy you a razor, don’t feel like you’ve sinned grievously.
  2. Learn to love radio dramas before you fall for television.
  3. Listen to whatever music you like most. Don’t listen to what other people want you to just because you think they’re cool. (But please, listen to music that involves actual instruments & no auto-tuning, I promise it’s better. [Exception: Daft Punk])
  4. Don’t be afraid to like things that are obscure or don’t fit your category.
  5. But don’t be a hipster.
  6. Smoking is only kind of cool. (Still, don’t start.)
  7. Jane Austen, my dear girl. Jane. Austen.
  8. Don’t wear foundation until you need it & wear it sparingly when you do. Just because your friend’s necks don’t match their faces doesn’t mean it’s trendy.
  9. Learn to swoon over Johnny Cash, Gregory Peck, John Wayne, Michael Bublé, Matthew Macfadyen & Robert Downey Jr. Never Matt Damon, etc.
  10. Play the ukulele. I’ll teach you.
  11. When you’re ready, read Jane Eyre.
  12. Steve Martin’s banjo album is really really really good.
  13. Be a baseball girl. Through & through.
  14. If you ever feel sad, REMEMBER THIS.
  15. If you can’t sleep: drink a glass of milk, lay down, relax your muscles starting in your toes all the way to your head, start thinking of the most wonderful dream you could ever dream for yourself, dwell on that till your eyes are heavy & your heart is full.
  16. Your mom is a sap. But that’s OK, cause most moms are.
  17. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of moisturizing.

That’s all I have for now.

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