Ever played the game “Scruples”? (Yes, this is another post about a sort-of-made-up-Dugan-household-game. Got a problem? Yes? Oh, no? OK, good.) Scruples, as it is explained on the box, is “The Game of Moral Dilemmas”. One player gives another a ‘moral dilemma’ & the rest of the players guess what you’ll decide…yadayadayada some people get points, some people lose, someone wins & that’s game. (I didn’t feel like pulling out the directions for this, OK?!) Bottom line is that one night after a rousing game of Scruples (for Kids™), me & my brothers decided it would be the best use of our time to make up our own moral dilemmas. And so, lady or gentleman (I know how many people actually read this blog, I’m not in denial) I present to you:

Scruples for Dugans™

(It’s just a name, feel free to participate with your moral decisions to these moral dilemmas, Dugan, moral, or not.)

Situation: You find yourself downtown, very late at night. You see an elderly woman sitting on a park bench, cackling madly. Do you approach her?

Situation: Your best friend is a psychotic who’s convinced he’s a homosexual purple kangaroo who can control sound with his mind. One day, he tells you he will, “Kill all the infidels who do not accept the New World Order.” He’s made similar threats before, but to no consequence. Do you alert the proper authorities?

Situation: There is a ghost in your house. When he speaks, do you do his bidding?

Situation: You see a cupcake on the table, and you’re pretty sure it’s yours. Do you eat it?

Situation: You walk up to your front door. Your lock appears to be broken, so you kick the door in. Then you realize this isn’t your house, and then you realize that wasn’t a door, but a small child! Do you finish what you have started?

Situation: You force feed a milkshake to a teenage boy. He goes into diabetic shock. Do you check for a medical alert bracelet?

Situation: During the day you are a UPS delivery man. At night you enjoy donning a zebra striped lycra suit and feather boa, and parading around from bar to bar declaring yourself, “Queen of the Door Frames.” One bar owner does not appreciate your antics. Do you torch the place?

Situation: Some say the soul is merely the dwelling place of all your sorrow and misery. Do you agree with this assessment?

Situation: Your acting teacher tells you there are two methods of acting: one way is to study your lines and say them as you would imagine the play-write wanted you to, the other is to conger up real emotions from your past. You find this all very complicated and boring. Do you continue your torrid love affair with your professor?

Situation: You enter your basement and find several buckets of tepid foot water strewn about, as well as a few cutting boards. Does this drive you to the brink of insanity? [This one may be a bit too…inside Duganish.]

: You are an orderly in a hospital. One day, you find a hypodermic needle on the ground in the parking lot. You are pretty sure it’s unused, do you put it in with the other medical supplies?

Situation: Your coworker comes to work in his Halloween costume. It’s October 13th, but you remember that your coworker is dyslexic. The other employees find the site of a grown man dressed as teen idol Miley Cyrus somewhat off-putting. Do you file a complaint with HR?

Situation: You stumble out of a bar at 2 in the morning. You are quite tipsy, so your friend offers to drive you home. Only after entering his car, do you realize that he is even more hammered than you are. Do you play ‘there’s a car’?

Situation: You live in an apartment alone and you’re kind of a slob. You finally decide to do the dishes, but as you make your way to the bottom of the pile, you discover that a dinner plate with a miniscule city of sea-monkey like creatures has developed. Are you a vengeful god?

Situation: One evening you are at the kitchen table with your husband, trying to come up with a solution to your financial troubles. Suddenly a light bulb turns on in your head. Your spouse tells you to stop eating light bulbs, and to take your hand out of the toaster. Do you take this advice into consideration?

Situation: You are in a library reading a book. You find it unusually quiet, even for a library. You then realize that it isn’t a library at all, but a morgue in a hospital, and you are, in fact, dead. Do you still enjoy To Kill a Mockingbird?

Stay tuned to Blog Name Pending for a printable game version.


3 thoughts on “Scrupulous

  1. Dan Davis says:

    If you’re corporate, you can save a few cents for each needle you *clean*, and get that raise you always wanted.

  2. gopragueblog says:

    Pretty sure my roommate and I just enjoyed your warped Dugan edition of Scruples. We are still laughing. And by the way, I would torch the place.

  3. Beth says:

    Just a few things to point out:

    * There is a REASON I use cutting boards instead of plates! Let me give you an example; You’re making your self a turkey sandwich, so naturally you use a cutting board. Once said sandwich has been made, you wonder, “Should I get a plate? This cutting board would work fine and since it would be washed anyways I could use it and save my dear mother from having to do more dishes. Yes, I think I’ll use this as my plate.”

    * I swear I have only ONCE left foot water in the basement after I use it. You guys just think it’s a funny concept so you exaggerate it. Also, haven’t YOU done that before as well, Katherine?!

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