Basic Housekeeping 101

As one of the few women left in this world who still dreams of being a housewife, I figured it’s about time I practice some basic housekeeping. Seeing as my shower had some creatures growing in it looking something like only Jim Henson could have created, I knew this was the place to continue honing my skills.

It took me over an hour. On a scale of 1-horrifying it was only Slightly Vomit Inducing. I kept my tools basic, & I think this is what made it such a success. All I needed was:

1 Scotch Brite Non-Scratch Tub & Shower Brush™. I am not joking when I say that if this thing had a cell phone & I had a top five option on my cell phone, this sponge would be in my Top 5™. It takes almost no effort on my part to scrub & its little wiry front tangles all hairs so as to reduce vomiting by 97.999%!

1 Can KABOOM Oxi-Clean Foam-Tastic™. This stuff is magic in a can. It sprays on blue & turns white when it’s done defeating Goblin Kings, so I felt like I was some kind of graffiti artist when first spraying my walls.

1 Bucket. If using KFC™ bucket, eat fried chickeny goodness BEFORE filling with water.

1 Regular Sponge for all shining/happy dancing purposes.

With just these four items I was able to conquer this task. After getting it all squeaky clean I decided I needed to test out it’s new squeaky-ness myself. Conclusion: after showering I actually felt clean. Before this, after I got out of the shower it was more that feeling of showering in a campground shower: “Yeah, I’m cleanER. I guess.” Also, seeing as I was no longer confined to the 4 square inches of non-filth on the floor, the shower cubicle felt MUCH larger. There may or may not have been some dancing.

There you have it folks! Another step closer to being a housewife. Now all I need is the being-a-wife part. (No Goblin King’s please. And while we’re at it, no Jareth’s either. That’s just a creepy name.)

Bonus Cleaning The Shower Quote: “How is there soap scum on THIS side?!”


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